On Being Alone...and Liking It    

by Carol Worthey

I've met people who move somewhere new about once a year and it isn't necessarily job-related — they say they get tired of where they are and have to move on. What are they trying to escape? You can never leave yourself! That's such an obvious fact but perhaps the most uncomfortable reality of all to face: No matter where you go, you're always with yourself.

Learning to recognize what makes you distinctly and uniquely you is the start of feeling at home wherever you go. You might be surprised to find you actually like yourself! Allow that feeling. Having some affection for yourself is also a good starting point for reaching out to others and making them feel they're worthwhile.

No one is perfect. The worst person you can lie to is yourself. That goes back to the fact you can never escape yourself. Perhaps the hardest thing to do is to forgive yourself (for petty foibles or for when you really could have done something differently), but it allows you to move on and to grow as a person. Stop being so hard on yourself!

Someone who is comfortable being alone all by themselves for a while, reading a book, sitting in a garden, taking a walk, listening to music, will tend to be able to make others feel like good company when they arrive.

Being alone is not the same thing as being lonely, but when the two coincide, seek safe and loving company, seek solace and find someone to whom you can really communicate. We do need others.

Cultivate what is best in you and be willing to face openly (at least within the confines of your own self-awareness) what needs improvement so that you evolve into a person you can live with and that others can live with too.

Noone is given a rigid path in life, we always have choices. Creating balance between these two aspects, cultivating what is best in you and being willing to improve, will make you feel whole — and after all, that is what "integrity" means, feeling whole, being true to yourself. If you can never escape yourself, make it a good experience!